If you knew me casually in real life, it is not apparent that depression is an element that is a continuous thread. It requires consistent management. & as much as it pains me to admit, I have tackled it in so many different ways – some healthy, some not-so-healthy.
What I’m trying to get at is that I’m often very high-functioning. Which makes it a lot more difficult to ‘explain’ to people when I’m not in a high-functioning place. When someone casually asks me how I am, I’ll say “Good. How are you?” It’s a polite, conditioned-by-society response & gets the job done.
When I’m less than high-functioning, there is added difficulty. To explain myself. To get out of bed & pay the bills. It isn’t uncommon for me to avoid letting people know. It’s hard enough to get out there & present myself as functioning. & after all – I’ve always been told not to tell people. What is odd is that I still try to avoid letting my ‘inner circle’ know. It’s years of conditioning: “People won’t get it.” – “Employers won’t hire you.” – “People will think you’re weak.”
You know what’s weird about that? Most people totally get it. Most people I have been open with about it have either experienced or been close with someone who has experienced something similar. So, we need to keep reaching out to our inner circles for the deep stuff but remember to let our outer circles know that…yeah, sometimes things aren’t going so well. & we still are capable in spite of it.