This Is It

Colours Gone

Gone, gone gone. I have reread your obituary twelve times since finding out. I dream we’ve all been granted another chance, another day. We’re both here, healthy. We’re all here, just fine.

It is the light you see in the sunset. The colours mix, a warm gradient filling the horizon’s outline. The awareness that there is something brighter out there for us, but sometimes our wings can’t carry us close enough. The love we feel for those who try to show us the way.

I light a lavender candle for you and sit. I think of your mother, of patience, of struggle. I listen hard to my memories and file my regrets in cold steely metal cabinets in the back of my mind. Our shadows. Our anguish. Our peace.

But these thoughts aren’t like your thoughts.
Neither actions nor words could keep you.

The rain falls softly outside. One moment of grief on repeat as step by step, we move forward.

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